I’ve decided to throw a pity party for myself–but don’t worry.  You aren’t invited.

Saturday night I went to a show.  It was awesome.  If you ever have the chance to go do it.  In fact fly here tonight and I’ll go with you.

This evening Steve and I sat down.  He said, so what did you want to talk about.  I asked if he was joking.  He wasn’t.  So I proceeded to tell him that he is a terrible friend and questioned if he even knows what it means to be a friend.  The answer was no.

I then went over some basic ground rules on how to be a friend.  You know, talk to the person.  Share the day.  The usuals.  He seemed shocked.  The best part was when he told me that he doesn’t want to hear about all the little dramas, but wants to be there for the highs and help in times of adversity.  I let him know that those were the little dramas.  I then told him about three funny things that happened to me in the past three days and said…little dramas.  And let him know that if all he ever wanted to talk about was Heath Ledger and Mary-Kate’s apartment we could do that; but that isn’t being a friend.  That’s just being company.

Of course I then questioned which is his true self.  The one that comes out when he is tired or drunk or the self that he is when he is sober.  One is very loving and tender, the other estranged.  He said that he didn’t know, but he recognizes that he doesn’t deserve the time of day that I so freely give him.  Baby steps.

It is amazing what a day and talking to friends will do to change a mood.

It’s like magic.  I feel so much better and confident.  A Martin Luther King Jr. Day miracle I say.

Sidenote: wedding season is quickly approaching and I can’t find the dress.  I may have to go shopping.  The horror.  The horror.

I took Saturday off from the gym to hangout with my friends Heidi & Jeremy who were in town from a very cold place.  They slept in, we had a late brunch at Life Cafe, signed a waiver so that we may be used in a documentary on Kurt Vonnegut, went to MoMa and saw some art, then walked around the city, finishing with dinner at Harbour Lights. It has a very nice view of the Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Williamsburg bridges.  It was a very good day.  It made me sad to think the next day off that I’m going to have will be in February and I’ll be at a wedding.  It’s time to get active and pay off some bills so that I can have some time to do stuff.

Last night I met up with a friend of mine from Fujisawa.  It was a little weird because we hadn’t seen each other in 5 years or so.  He is a flight attendant for Virgin and travels all over.  We walked about the city and had a few pints before it was obviously that he was completely exhausted (getting up at 11:30 the night before (New York time) is indeed tiring).  It was fantastic to see him and makes me once again think that this is the best time to be alive.  Plus I got to hear stories of Ewan, Sting, and Whitney Houston.

Steve still isn’t really talking to me.  I have sent emails regarding shelving in the apartment & texts regarding a time to actually get together and have had absolutely no response.  I feel like a freaking leper.  Don’t get near me–don’t even talk to me.  Wait, that may just be one of those smelly homeless people.  Oh crap am I a smelly homeless person?  I swear that I shower everyday and brush my teeth.  I don’t want to be a smelly homeless person.  I want to be a ninja-like on Staten Island.

You’ve not heard about the Staten Island ninja?  Where have you been? There are theories on the ninja, like what if it’s a band of ninjas?  Say the Foot and only mutant turtles can save us?  One evening the more than one ninja theory was advanced at a bingo meet on Staten Island.  All of the doily owning older women freaked out–but my doilies!  I have to have my doilies.  Who will save us?

Upon extreme intoxication one individual was holding the door of a garage.  When questioned about it he very clearly stated, “I caught the ninja.  He’s inside.  Shhhh!!”   Ah Staten Island, how can we not love to make fun of you?

Over this past week Steve has been acting very strange.  I chalked it up to his shagging a 22 year-old.  But then it hit me.  It hit me very hard we he took her to a place that I had asked him to go last summer and he blew it off (it really is much better in the spring & summer than the winter).  He did not invite me nor did he really tell me about it.  I found out via our other roommate Jen.

It took me a full 24 hours and a conversation with friends in North Carolina to realize what was really going on.  I had made a grievous mistake.  I had thought that Steve was my friend.  But on reflecting on his behavior over the past two month I realize that no, he is an ex-boyfriend and at best a roommate.

So forgive me if I seem on edge this week.  I have a lot on my mind-not just this faulty friendship and if I snap/breakdown just give me 7 minutes and a good joke and it will be okay.

I got a text last night on whether or not I had enjoyed fun naked time with the Mennonite.  The answer of course was yes.  I asked why I was being asked, and of course the reply was, “was it good?”  Hey, that isn’t answering my question.  So I asked the Mennonite why I was being questioned and he answered.  Apparently we kept up Delphos.  Oops.  I suppose these things happen.

Tragically I haven’t had the pleasure/opportunity to do that in NYC this year yet, but it is early.  Yes it is.